As I talk with my girls, two themes often resurface — they must have courage and their character matters. I don’t believe I’m alone in feeling overwhelmed and often anxious with the task of raising girls in this world. What I know is that I want my girls to be courageous, but not without character. Courage without kindness, love or integrity will not serve them well nor will it change the world for the better.
Character is defined as: “the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life which determine his or her response regardless of circumstances.”
Abraham Lincoln stated, “Reputation is the shadow. Character is the tree.” I love this. I don’t want just the shadow, the appearance of goodness for myself or my girls. I want the rooted strength of a towering oak.
Courage. Courage is not always fireworks, sometimes it’s a quiet steady conviction unchanged by peer pressure. Sometimes it’s an action unnoticed or soft-spoken words of truth. It may be refraining from joining in slander and gossip, releasing and forgiving a hurt, choosing kindness, or choosing love. Sometimes the act of courage is simply being okay with exactly who God made us to be — (And I believe this may take the most courage of all).
Courage and character — intertwined and irrevocably connected. Intentional conversation with our kids is paramount. And, I’ve found that literature can speak louder than a thousand lectures — and this is (in part) why I love these reads:
Bella At Midnight by Diane Stanley
I found this book at the library years ago. Loved it, bought it, re-read it, and then read it with my daughter (then age 8). It was our first read-aloud together and a balm for our relationship that had been fraught with tears and frustration (related to school). We found something that we both enjoyed — we snuggled and savored this sweet time. This last Sunday I hosted my first mother-daughter book club with my youngest daughter and we began with this book.
By the title you’ll assume (correctly) a Cinderella-esque structure, but it’s really a story all its own. Each chapter is written from a different character’s perspective making it great for illustrating and teaching point of view, but also for connecting with and getting to know each character. This book speaks poignantly to the power one person has to make a difference and what kind of beauty really matters (a theme you’ll see throughout each of these book picks). I can’t read this book aloud without tearing up (multiple times) — self-sacrificial love, forgiveness, and undaunted courage displaying their power to overcome the greatest of odds. {Ages 7 and up}
And, as a bonus, the story is so well-done, that it pulled in my son as well as the sons (yes, even teen boys!) of my friends who are reading it with their girls.
The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine
These two sisters are inseparable and adore each other — Addie craves nothing but safety, while Meryl yearns for adventure outside the castle walls. When tragedy strikes, Addie must pursue a quest, facing all that she fears for the love of her sister. “Hope follows courage” — this quote most aptly describes this book. Often we have strength and courage we never thought possible and we don’t see it or aren’t given it until circumstances demand it.
This read was our first mother-daughter book club pick — we had great discussion, each girl relating to one princess or the other. The ending is not the typical “happily-ever-after” but this in itself provoked great discussion even with our 8-year-old girls. My son, at age 13, read this book in one day. {Ages 7 and up}
- The Prequel, The Lost Kingdom of Bamarre is wonderful.
“Courage is found in unlikely places.”
~J.R.R. Tolkien
Again, I found this book first and LOVED it. This read is simply fun, unique and entertaining, but also with a beautiful story of family love and loyalty at its core. Sometimes it takes the greatest courage to accept who you are made to be and to place your trust in other people, allowing yourself to be known. Ingrid Law writes in a way I can only describe as whimsical, and her characters (each with a special gift/power) are so very likeable. I hope you’ll love the Beaumont family as much as my kids and I do. {Ages 10 and up}
- Other books in the series include Scumble (my son’s favorite) followed by Switch — but Savvy is my favorite.
The Ordinary Princess by M.M. Kaye
Short, sweet, and lovely, this book takes a fabric swatch from Sleeping Beauty, but instead of a curse of death/enchanted sleep, the youngest princess’ curse is being ordinary. I loved watching our book club girls discuss if “ordinary” was a curse or a gift. A great topic, especially in our celebrity obsessed culture. As in Savvy, sometimes it takes the greatest courage to be yourself even and especially when surrounded by people wishing you to be different. The world defines beauty and assigns value using many different methods, but it takes a strong heart to throw off these chains and be content — yet do so with love and grace. I wish the ordinary princess, Princess Amy, was a Disney Princess, but I think they would ruin her. {Ages 7 and up}
A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle
For whatever reason, I avoided this book my entire life until it was chosen for our mother-daughter book club. I do however hold “old books” in high esteem. If they have survived in the marketplace for decades without being taken out of print, it often shows their enduring value. Intertwining fantasy, mystery, and adventure, Madeleine L’Engle infuses questions of faith and belief much like C.S. Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia. Like Savvy and The Two Princesses of Bamarre, this book involves a quest to save someone beloved, and shows that courage is gifted when needed most and that our weaknesses may be our greatest strengths. {Ages 11 and up}
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
This is one of the best children’s classics. We love Sara Crewe and aspire to live with her hope, kindness, and tenacity. She goes from “riches to rags,” from a student to a servant, and is tormented by a cruel headmistress. In spite of her circumstances, her heart holds to the truth that she is a princess. If you’ve seen the movie, the book is still worth your time. I am reminded when I read this book that no matter my circumstances, I can choose kindness and love. I see that beauty and joy can still thrive in the darkness. And living with this courage and hope can transform the people around us. {All ages!}
“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”
~Abigail Van Buren
And, my new favorite resource — Book Girl: A Journey Through the Treasures and Transforming Power of the Reading Life by Sarah Clarkson.
You won’t regret adding this lovely to your bookshelf. I promise!
“The reading life is like one of those potent graces bestowed by fairy godmothers on princesses in old fairy tales, the sort to help a young heroine grow in all good things, to love life in its fullness and beauty, but also to make her strong in resisting the forces of evil stepmothers or wicked fairies already gathered round her cradle.”
~ Sarah Clarkson, Book Girl
Grab a cup of tea, curl up in a sunshiny corner and savor these books with your girl.
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